Bringing an au pair into your home can be a great move—but only if the setup works well for everyone. It’s not just about having help with the kids. It’s about sharing your space with someone new and building a relationship that goes beyond chores and schedules. When it’s done right, hosting an au pair can bring a lot of fun, support, and even a bit of extra calm into your daily routine.
Let’s talk about how to make that happen.
Starting Off With the Right Expectations
Before anything else, it’s super important to understand what an au pair is—and what they’re not. An au pair isn’t a housekeeper or a live-in nanny with years of training. An au pair is a young adult from another country who joins your family to help with childcare while experiencing life in a new place. It’s a cultural exchange, not just a job.
They’re usually between 18 and 26 years old and come for about a year, though some stay longer. They help out with things like getting the kids to school, preparing snacks, and keeping play areas clean. In exchange, they live with the family, get meals, a private room, a weekly allowance, and time to explore their new surroundings.
If that sounds good so far, Go Au Pair is a solid place to start. They match families with au pairs and handle a lot of the details that can be overwhelming at first—stuff like paperwork, visa support, and making sure everyone follows the rules.
Make Room—In Every Way
Letting someone move into your house is a big deal. It means adjusting routines, sharing space, and making sure the au pair feels at home—not just like a guest who’s visiting for a few days.
Start with the basics: the au pair needs their own room. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it should be clean, quiet, and private. A small desk is a nice bonus if there’s room for one.
Beyond that, include them in regular life. Ask if they want to join family dinners or weekend outings. Invite them to watch a movie with the kids or bake cookies together. You don’t have to spend every second together, but making someone feel welcome takes more than just handing over a house key.
Clear Communication Is Everything
This is where a lot of families either make it or break it. Good communication solves problems before they even start.
Sit down early and talk through the basics—things like work hours, screen time rules, what snacks the kids can have, bedtime routines, and how to handle discipline. The more you explain upfront, the smoother things go later.
It also helps to create a shared calendar. Put everything on it: school drop-offs, soccer games, piano lessons, days off. That way, everyone’s on the same page.
And don’t wait until something feels “off” to speak up. Regular check-ins—maybe once a week—make it easier to talk about what’s going well and what needs tweaking. Keep the tone friendly, not like a performance review.
Respect Goes Both Ways
It can be easy to think of the au pair as someone who works for the family, but the relationship works best when both sides feel respected.
Give them space on their time off. Don’t expect them to join every family activity or be available 24/7. This is their home too, and they need downtime just like anyone else.
At the same time, be clear about the household rules. If the kitchen needs to be cleaned after dinner or shoes come off at the door, explain that from the start. The key is to stay kind but consistent.
Being part of a family means learning each other’s habits and making small changes to keep things peaceful. The more both sides feel respected, the easier it is to build trust.
Help the Kids Adjust
Kids usually love having an au pair around—but it can still be a big change. One day, it’s just the usual family. The next, there’s someone new helping with breakfast and school runs.
Take time to introduce the au pair to the kids slowly. Maybe start with fun activities before diving into routines. Read a book together, play a board game, or go to the park. Let the kids get used to their new helper as a friend before expecting total cooperation.
Make sure the kids know that the au pair is an adult they should listen to, but also someone they can have fun with. Once they feel safe and comfortable, everything else falls into place more naturally.
Plan for the Hard Parts Too
Even in the best situations, there are going to be bumps. Maybe someone forgets to do a chore. Maybe there’s a misunderstanding about curfews or noise. That’s totally normal.
What matters is how those things get handled. Stay calm. Ask questions before jumping to conclusions. Most of the time, little problems can be fixed with a quick chat and a bit of understanding.
Also, remember that homesickness is real. Living far from home in a different country can be hard sometimes. If the au pair seems quiet or down, check in. A little kindness goes a long way. Offer support, not pressure. They’re adjusting too.
Celebrate the Good Moments
There are so many great parts of hosting an au pair. Some families say it’s the easiest their mornings have ever been. Others say their kids learned words in another language without even trying. Sometimes, the best part is just having someone to share the day-to-day things with—school pickups, lunchbox packing, playground hangouts.
Take time to notice those moments. Celebrate birthdays together. Share family traditions. Let the au pair teach the kids something from their culture. These are the things that turn “a year of help” into a year of memories.
A Few Final Thoughts
Hosting an au pair isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real, working together, and staying open to new experiences. Some days might feel easy, and others might feel a little messy—but when there’s trust, respect, and communication, it really can be something special.
Every family is different, and every au pair brings something new. What matters most is building a space where everyone feels welcome and supported.
If it sounds like the right fit, taking the time to set it up the right way is totally worth it.
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