Retroactive jealousy is destructive, but often we are not aware or do not want to be aware of it. The main problem with jealousy is that it has nothing to do with love. We believe that jealousy is just a consequence of tender feelings, but in fact, its basis is the most ordinary fear and an exaggerated sense of ownership.
In addition, you need to know that jealousy can destroy not only your relationship but also your health. Surprisingly, but it is true: jealous people mostly suffer from headaches, nervous disorders and depression. Moreover, painful distrust can cause heart disease, while psychologists believe that the main reason for jealousy is solely a lack of confidence in your own abilities.
As a rule, unreasonable jealousy takes on a form close to paranoia. It sounds scary, but, nevertheless, according to statistics, most crimes occur precisely because of unreasonable jealousy, or you are destined to turn into a domestic tyrant. So if you suffer from outbursts of unreasonable jealousy, you need to immediately start fighting this problem.
If you want to overcome retroactive jealousy, take online courses, read workbooks, just head over to the Retroactive Jealousy website to learn about helpful steps you can take right now.
So start eliminating your fears. Imagine what will happen if your suspicions will be confirmed, and even more if you have to leave your loved one. Thinking in this way will enable you to realize that your fears are, in essence, completely empty.
Treat love as an ephemeral subject. In essence, the world is arranged in such a way that we can’t keep anything close to us for a long time, and love, as you know, has much in common with an illusion, which is already based on deception. The realization that everything, including you, is temporary, will help you to more easily perceive the surrounding reality. If you live in constant fear that your husband will leave you, or about his exes, how can you call such sensations pleasant? The fear of loss makes you unhappy. Give yourself a short break, enjoy what is here and now.
Also, your nervous comparison of yourself with others, many of whom are certainly superior to you in some way, will not lead to anything good.
Over the years, the relationship develops into something more than sexual attraction and admiration for the appearance of your partner, during the time spent together, a kind of “capital” is accumulated, consisting of jointly gained experience and passed tests.
Control your fantasy! Your fantasies make it impossible for you to assess the situation soberly. That’s all – this is the root of the problem. If you start to build in your imagination pictures of the expected development of events, it will become almost impossible to cope with suspicions. Before trusting your assumptions, put in order your mind, regain your ability to reason sensibly and objectively. Try to switch your attention to other problems for a while: organize cleaning in the apartment, go shopping, sign up for a hairdresser – this will help you distract yourself.
Also, trust your partner. Trust is a prerequisite for a healthy and strong relationship – it is an axiom. Often we begin to suspect our partner, not because he did not live up to our trust, but only because we ourselves experience fear and self-doubt. Jealousy, in this case, is not based on anything in reality but stems only from our personal feelings.
In this case, if we ourselves are the masters of our thoughts and emotions, can’t we start trusting our beloved man with the same ease? Stop seeing deception in every word and throw away your endless suspicions. Of course, suspicions do not always seem unfounded but try to trust your soulmate and not suspect him of something bad. And you will definitely have the opportunity to see that your partner most likely does not want to hurt you. Learn to give freedom – free yourself from the past and very soon your relationship will reach a new level.